Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, February 16, 2009
- shaz masak kat rumah 32 everyday after class
- balik class thru tesco dengan shaz
- roaming the isle of tesco wilton dgn shaz, not sure wat to buy/make for dinner
- shaz asking me wat to cook for dinner, and me telling shaz not to cook too much coz i wont finish it, shaz paksa me makan
- finding cheap pak choi/vege at the reduced section tesco wilton
- finding cheap ayam/daging/itik( remember shaz, duck pon kite penah beli kat tesco!!!) katok at reduced section tesco, but not sure wther to buy or not, but ended up buying anyway....faraj expensive..shaz buat duck roast harituh.....
- shaz straighten his hair everyday....then complains to me about burning the pulp of his fingers.
- shaz runs down and knocks my door, ajak me to go to sri's house.
- sri picking us up with afiq and natrah at the back, and then pergi rumah sri.
- sri and shaz masak ( what an instituition!!!).
- shaz promising to stop/cut/reduce smoking......
- shaz gulung rokok
- after class,randomly going to the cinema with shaz, just to lepas geram........
- ema/leia picks me up to go to sri's house/wayang/shopping........
- on the way back from class with shaz, leia calls shaz to tell that she was going on a date with some surfer dude she met at the hospital, at that moment we were crossing the wilton road infront of tesco's towards wilton court on the way home.......some years back.....
- naik kereta micra leia while listening to the killer's
- driving all the way up to dublin dengan a heavily pregnant sri to make afiq's passport, then jln2 dublin...still have the pictures!!
- going to limerick with emma/shaz to meet paan
- paan turun cork from limerick - which would mean fun for us........
- lepak-lepak apartment ema with sri shaz ema paan leia
- minum at costa with everyone
- sri picking me up at 4 am to go to NEXT sale
- Siti showing me her Jimmy choo's
- trying to create conversation dgn mosh
- tengok abe/uncle/izzat main x box....and thinking 'ehhh depa nie cam budak kecik jer'
- shopping dengan siti/leia early morning boxing day
- Buying my first wedgewood at brown thomas dengan leia
- makan ice cream dgn shaz oni and shazarina at gino's
- the strawberry pavlova at scoozy's
- going to rumah glenarden one day, the girls masak masak, leia telling us her new bf is coming, kecoh in the house as leia meets her new bf outside the house.
- boring day at 32 riverview one day, until suddenly shaz comes running down knocking my door, saying that we have to go to sri's house, abe calls him to tell that sri in labor, shaz has to go to sri's house....omg!!! kecoh giler!!!!!
- sri/abe deciding not thier 2nd childs name, that time dalam kereta honda depa nak pergi ke bandar.
- Pre-raya dinner at Milano's with everyone ( somewhere in 2005 i think)
- Going to see James Blunt dengan paan ema shaz leia and H
- Me and Paan making full use of siti's house one for one day...cannot help it, very resort-ish..
- London dengan paan ema....best london experience i guess!!!!!!!!!!!
- West end show in london with paan......
- Siti datang amik me at CUH one day to go to her house, one day before OBs?Gyn exam....ehm ehem.....
- naik kereta peaugeot 207 paan....and paan singing
- watchin ema paan leia and shaz fight, and thinking, 'hmmmm, its still okay to be 26 , not to old to be jumping around'
- driving to penang with emma/ and shaz for leia' wedding
- Watching sri/ abe mom preparing hantaran for leia's wedding at sri's house
- Shaz making leia's wedding cake at siti house
- Shaz bimbang leia's cake tak jadi
- leia's wedding
- jalan jalan penang with ema/ shaz
- Ema leaving her hand phone dekat wayang mahon point
- paan membebel at ema for loosing her HP
- Paan complaining about something
- listening to emma talking about her registra yang dia minat
- paan and ema kareoke
- shaz buat aksi lucah time kareoke
- tengok shaz cakap talifon dengan paan sampai tidor, paan continues talking...........
- making out a list of bad words or sex related words in malay for honza at Honza's small house near maxol , remember.... 'lagi-lagi', 'kuat lagi', and 'sakit'
- Leia telling us that she does not feel well ( muntah2 segala) dekat bucu between brown thomas and debenhams on boxing day, and wants to go home
- Sri telling me/shaz/leia she was pregnant with natrah in leia's car in limerick on the way to kedai china.
- Shaz not being able to continue 4th med......
- H cooking that soupy czech thing in which we dip frech loaf in to it.
- honza telling me that Leia just got to know that Sri's pregnant again while picking me up from 32 riverview est to go somewhere, and telling me not to tell sri that he has told me.....
- on 1st april - shaz called me to tell me that sri got into a fight with abe and has locked her self up in the living room and was crying all day, ema picked me up and dengan kecoh serta bimbangnyer, driving with ema to sri's house, arriving to hear sri still crying, but very monotonous.........
- Siti and Mosh ariving at Sri's house siap berbaju kurung dan sampin, Leia was getting married to Honza on the 1st of april.........ema punye keje.....
- Shaz balik malaysia for good, paan balik malaysia for good, ema balik malaysia for good, sri'abe balik malaysia for good
- Driving shaz to the airport with paan .........
- LAst final med rotation was at limerick, medicine- paan drove me to dublin to leia's house and then jalan jalan dublin , 3 weeks before finals......
- pawi and feeza driving me to CUH for my final Med exams
- Siti / sri/ leia calling me wishing me good luck for Finals...and calling them each time after the exams
- FINAL medical exam, getting a MS patient
- Mary hogan asking me about PML on patients treated with tysabri......i knew i passed at that moment.....
- going to tesco's to buy pampers for natrah
- zarina's mee bandung
- Knowing that sri dapat keje intern .... for some reason i was so excited......
- boarding train to dublin after final exams, not having to seat for any orals
- lepak rumah leia in dublin after final exams, for a few weeks, leia heavily preggers at that stage.
- Sri's roast beef / turkey
- siti teaching me how to anyam ketupat at her hse before raya
- Boarding flight to US
- Tengok abe main psp
- Uncle offering me his a place to stay in limerick
- Kak agee/kak toh masak.
- Abe lepas exam
- Driving with Zarina to Sligo
- Kak toh telling me my baju dah siap lipat, although i told her not to do it.........
- Uncle opening house door each time i balik kerja
- Driving to leia's house in SLigo, lepak lepak leia's house in Sligo
- going to hospital with leia for kuba's immunisation......
- eating lobster at Sligo
- reviewing a sick patient who went into heart block post surgery one night oncall in limerick with medical reg.
- That reg belanja me kopi that mane
- listening to paan complaining abt ema or nurses
- listening to emma complaining abt paan or nurses
- Post take ward round limerick, going to the radiologist with a cup of coffee for him so that he okays the 8 CT scans i ordered, and reports it immediately
- Calling abe from peads ward, tanye abe cam ner nak prescribe abx for kids.
- having dinner at fishy fishy cobh one night
- Going to turkey with zarina
- Lepak dengan zarina before balik malaysia
- weekend in dingle with sri abe uncle ageee, sewa rumah
- yatchin in cobh.....
- Leia's pea soup and chicken schnitzel...and that cheese thing she cooks for H which have bread crumbles on it
- feeling oukward each time leia/honza , abe/sri go thru lover's tiff, and i'm like on thier couch watchin tv.....soooo oukward......
- tting to sleep in couches in almost everyone's hsse
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Saturday, October 25, 2008
as a child i was always a happy one. why not, i had almost all that i wanted, everything did go my way. up til my late teens to early twenties life was super breezy, and then, i entered the real world. where i thought nothing was in my control anymore, that people were just out there to hurt me and break me. i learned to become selfish and fight for what i want. sometimes i get, sometimes i dont, and even when i do, i was never happy... well not quite.. i wondered why.
it took me many days, and months, and years to realize that in life, it is not always about what you want, about what you can get, but most often what you can give and what you can do. i learned how to be happy for myself, and for others too. sometimes, in order to see other people be happy, you have to let go , you have to sacrifice. you have to cry and weep, and hope that one day, your turn will come. because for now, it is not your turn... you may not understand, but you will one day... learn not to be selfish and accept that life sometimes doesnt offer you roses and wine all the time and you will find inner peace.
if you get hurt, one way or another, regardless the situation, be patient and strong, for one day, the rain will stop pouring, and the sun will start shining, the rainbow will appear and you'll feel the happiness in your heart, you know this is your time... the one you've been waiting for.
and if there are people out there, trying to hurt you and bring you down, fear not, for as long as you believe in yourself and your loved ones, there is not a thing to be teared apart. you are safe
hurt not another, for it never brings you peace of mind, pray for happiness, for yourself and for another, clean the heart, and the future will be bright of hopes and dreams.
it is not easy , i know, for i've been there before, but i did all that i can, and stayed as strong as i can be, and so here i am... where i really wanna be, as now, today its my turn.......
In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridge - Hans Nouwens
The vows I take will be forever
I'll love you all my life.
There's no part way, no holding back
Once we are man and wife.
The choice is made, and now I swim
In a far different sea,
The shores of which are bright green hills
Raised up for you and me.
Our love is like a mountainside
Awash in lovely flowers:
It is our home, our solid rock,
Where all bright things are ours.
And though of need we often must
Spend our days apart,
Our love will always be with us,
Held within the heart.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Yes, its blood hot and dusty, getting use to the malaysian way of negotiating stuff seems quite foreign to me actually.
Just the other day i was kicked/denied entry into one of those imposing buildings in putrajaya for wearing jeans and a T shirt, and slippers, nasib baik i had come prepared, and my dads shoes and baju kemaja yang mak aku amik from dobi was in the car.
I still find it hard to negotiate the mamak stalls/pasar ramadan, ordering stuff still a problem, so because of that its usually my mom/my cousins/shaz or emma who does the orderings...
I'm not sure when to call or address a person abg or encik...the other day at an EON shop i addressed this guy as encik, he said just call him abg and wanted to belanja me kopi..???..funny
Seriously , dunno when im gonna start work, may be like new year, actually kindoff getting use to the routine, i'm such a desperate housewife already in the making.
For the moment its puasa month, so i guess i'm taking it lightly, but having said that , the other day aku pergilah buat kerja giler with a few of my cousins, rock climbing in one utama, lepas bukak puasa, i guess it was too much on me, after about 2 hours , i muntah in the toilet, like on the floor...so embarassing, nasib baik amah tukang bersih toilet was understanding tak marah marah.....horror giler, like cam u people imagine, fellow gym mates were like looking at me dengan jijiknyer.....
anyway, will blog somemore....
Friday, July 25, 2008
I’m on my own in the house, as always. It’s already but I just couldn’t bring myself to the shower let alone getting off this bed. I’ve forgotten how it feels like to not worry about anything especially work. What would I give to get that feeling again. Seeing kids playing with each other at the playground just outside my house, it made me wonder maybe that’s what they have, that feeling, no worry feeling. Gosh I’ve also forgotten how it feels like to be a kid! In fairness it’s been decades anyway. It brought me back though to a moment I remember it vividly when I was a kid. Maybe around 10 yrs old, 2 decades ago. I was in my bedroom where I shared with my sister and little brother at that time. I was doing some homework, don’t remember what it was but I do remember as I lay there on the bed, again alone, I asked myself what my life would be like in 20 years time? I started imagining myself going to work wearing suits and carrying business bag made of leather, a perfect image like those commercials on TV. Getting off a luxurious car but without a driver, because I always thought I’d like to drive. Having lots of cash in my wallet with a couple of credit cards and be able to buy anything my heart desires. There were plenty other alternates future I imagined myself into. All of them with one theme. Plenty of cash and lavish lifestyle. Well say it what you want I was totally influenced by the lifestyles featured in those commercials at the time
Now that I’ve reached the 20 years later, again I said to myself, which part of those dreams I kept imagining myself in has become reality? Now here’s the depressing part, do I have lots of cash ? nope, do I have a luxury car? Not even close, do I live the way that I picture myself when I was a kid? Don’t even think of it! none of them were even close to what I have dreamed. Life sucks!!! Especially if you a master student in a supposedly “centre of excellence” institution, well that’s a completely different story!
Then I wonder what would a 30 year old me want? I thought about it and it isn’t lot of cash, I can get by with comfortable or even just enough although have plenty of it really a plus, lavish lifestyle…..well I don’t mind if I have the means i.e the abundant $$$$$. Certainly not something I would crave for. Then it dawned on me that all I want is peace of mind and happiness, and it’s different from one person to the other , the definition of happiness I mean. Right now my happiness means that I can live my day to day life with no worries, I can go to work and enjoy what I do and still have whatever little time I have to spend it with my family and friends. Hey don’t think that I’m not ambitious, I am but at this particular moment I would settle for this. I guess I’m tired of being on the move, burnt out would be more politically correct term. What would I give to be like those kids down there happily running around the ground chasing each other that doesn’t seem like having a point at all, kinda like this rambling, pointless but hey it made me feel better J
Thursday, May 22, 2008
eeee penatnyer lah keje
aku dah muak dan nak termuntah dah keje
walaupun baru balik 2 minggu , aku sudah boring
arini sangatlah sibuk.....enough said
sekarang aku dalam bilik, tgh main kompiter, tapi ader cerita hantu kat TV yang takut
sooo aku tgh takut sorang sorang, tapi aku nak kencing, tapi takut nk pergi toilet
kenape, sbb semalam certify death patient pukul 330 am dlm bilik single, time check reflexes patient bukak mata secara mengejut..........aku pon terkejut yang sangat terkejut....
aku melaung yang amat!! terus lari ke nurses station, nurses pon takut tgk aku, sbb katanyer aku pucat lesi,siap offer nak buat blood sugar lagi, and offer lucozade.....
anyway, aku still takut nie, aku nyer vegetarian pasta microwave ( tesco finest yer) aku pon dah sejuk.....
tapi aku still nak kencing, tapi takutlah nak gi toilet, camner hah??
patutkah aku tanah jer kencing aku??
may be aku patut swith to eurovision, channnel lain......